Is It Racist To Refuse To Shake A Black Person's Hand After Reading This?

Reports of penis stealing via witchcraft are again sweeping Western and Central Africa. The specific method is apparently a special handshake, whereupon the victim’s genitalia magically disappear. What the thief does with his hoard of stolen penises remains a mystery.

Cries of whatever “Fuck! Someone’s swiped me knob!” is in Yoruba quickly generate mass hysteria, followed by the summary execution of anyone deemed suspicious, usually an outsider. No-one in the crowd seems to be capable of stopping and saying: “Seriously? Your knob has been stolen? Show us.”

Of course, when they arrive in Europe, they’ll culturally advance a thousand years overnight and fit right in. Or do only educated Africans get on boats to cross the Mediterranean?

Next time I meet an African man, what will I say to avoid any awkwardness, yet ensure my manhood is safe?

I’ve found: “I won’t shake your hand … mine still has some semen on it” has worked a treat in the past.