Not Convinced This Goat Is Innocent

The Dark Continent has supplied RTBB with several stories for the Idiots section and I expect will continue to be a rich vein.

The latest stupidity from Africa concerns a goat, which was arrested in Nigeria for trying to steal a Mazda 323. Allegedly, one of the car thieves is a magician, who turned himself into a goat to (unsuccessfully) evade capture.

Apparently people in West Africa with magical powers can turn themselves into goats and get up to all manner of wrongdoing. Here is one “spreading the message of Islam”:

There is however, some doubt as to the goat’s guilt. National police spokesman Emmanuel Ojukwu explained:

"The vigilante group arrested the goat and took it to the police. But of course goats can't commit crime."

Don’t be so sure, Emmanuel. They are mischievous creatures. Many have eels as spirit guides, which makes me think this car thief was a pretty ordinary magician: a more powerful one would simply have changed into an eel and disappeared.

Goats can attach themselves to humans' backs, totally controlling their actions, just like in a sci-fi movie.

But there is hope for a fair trial. Kwara state police spokesman Tunde Mohammed told Reuters:

"We cannot confirm the story, but the goat is in our custody. We cannot base our information on something mystical. It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat."

The Enlightenment reaches Africa at last!