Naked Attacker Had Mouse Up His Bum ... WTF?

This is the kind of hilariously fucked up caper that just makes me laugh and laugh. Just the headline is enough:

Naked Attacker Had Mouse Up His Bum In South Carolina

How? Did he stick a piece of cheese up there and then sit outside a mouse hole, chucking a brown eye?

Why is South Carolina in the headline? Is this behaviour more shocking because it occurred there? Would it have been more acceptable in West Virginia or Kentucky? Actually, it probably would be.

The funniest bit was where “medical professionals” saw “a mouse tail hanging out of his anus” and then found the rest of the mouse inside.

Now, I’ve been known to get well toasted and go for the occasional streak with friends. Even a spot of nude driving or chucking brown eyes at people from a passing car. All good Aussie fun.

However, I can honestly say I’ve never been so fucked up that I’ve stuck a mouse up my bum and broken into someone’s house (at the same time).

I guess the moral of the story is: If you’re a hillbilly with an IQ of 50, don’t go smoking ice.