Old Man Marries Dog For Luck - Then Dies

Allegedly it is a custom of the Tharu tribe of Nepal that an old man who regrows his teeth must marry a dog, for luck apparently.

In 2004, an elderly gentleman was fortunate / unfortunate enough to invoke this custom when he regrew some teeth. It turned out to be the latter as Phulram Chaudhary, 75, died three days later, suggesting the Tharu’s theory does not stand up empirically. The article does not say whether the new husband died “on the job” like Billy Snedden.

The bride looked lovely in the traditional Nepali red wedding sari with its gold threading and I can imagine a nice slab of Pal covered in marzipan with little statues of the bride and groom on top. The groom was said to be quite pleased with his dowry of two half chewed tennis balls.

Not to be deterred by, or perhaps unaware of the untimely death of the not so fortunate Mr. Chaudhary, in 2005 British woman Sharon Tendler married the bottlenosed dolphin Cindy at the Israeli seaside city of Eilat, in what was reported to be “a modest ceremony”. She was quoted: "It’s not a perverted thing … I do love this dolphin."

"Cindy" is in fact a male. If he wasn’t confused by being given a girl’s name, he is certainly confused now after being told he is married to Sharon.

Like most people, I laughed heartily when I first read about the Tharu’s custom of old men being forced to marry dogs, the sort of bizarre practice only foreigners could dream up. However after more thought, I believe this is the kind of thing we should institute here in Australia. Someone with big ears could be forced to marry a wombat, for example.

If you’re going to have crazy social rules, don’t be like the Greens and institute wowserish, politically pious laws that make 90% of people mildly unhappy. Have rules that single out the randomly unfortunate and subject them to a lifetime of ridicule and torment instead.